How Different My Life Is

I can't believe it's been 5 months since I left Jakarta and one quarter of my studies have passed. So many aspects of my life changed and I have learned a lot from the experience of living by myself.

Ever since I knew I had the opportunity to study at the US, I felt that I was obligated to make the most out of it. I still do. I have to work really hard, learn as much as I can, get good grades, make people back home proud, and prove that a Psychology major can do good in Business School. Apparently it's far more difficult than I thought it would be.

I used to be a laid back student and felt that getting a GPA above 3 out of 4 is good enough, thus I didn't put too much effort in studying. Now, almost everyday, I study until past midnight even though it's not exam week, I have to do group discussions, read case studies, and do readings. It is indeed typical for a student, but I don't usually do this during college and high school. The student lifestyle change was sort of frustrating to me. During class, I felt that I have to understand and contribute in class discussions. After class, I have to rush through my lunch and go to group discussions, where I also felt that I have to contribute. By the time I'm home, I continued studying or make write-ups, which takes me quite some time because I don't feel very confident with my academic writing. If the above activities are not fulfilled, I feel very anxious, which frustrates me. There were times where I actually cried because my anxiety has taken a toll on me, and eventually frustrates me even more because I feel pathetic that I've become such an ambitious student.

As for my daily life, it has also changed a lot. I live alone, and most of my friends I hang out with live pretty far from my apartment. As much as I like being alone, it gets lonely every once and a while. But most of the time, I like being by myself and have the liberty to do anything I want.
Of course, I do all house chores by myself. Grocery shopping, cleaning, washing, cooking, paying bills, you name it. I thought this part of living alone will be tough for me, but I actually enjoy doing it. I like walking through the aisles in the supermarket, cooking the way I want it to be, have a sparkling white sink, have a clean spoon when I need it or have my clothes smell good. I get to appreciate those little things I never pay attention to.

Other than enjoying house chores, there are other surprises I experienced. Considering that I have always lived with my parents my whole lifetime, it's surprising I have not cried, not even once, because of homesick. Being in a long distance relationship with M.S. is also not as difficult as I thought it would be. Furthermore, living far from home made me understand what my sister is going through this whole time, I feel that I'm closer to her because I feel the need to talk to her more often. It's embarrassing how I only made a skype account after I moved, which is 5 years after my sister moved from Jakarta.

A couple of weeks ago my friend asked me whether or not I'm happy here. I hesitated when I answered that question because I never thought of it. After writing my thoughts on this post, I know for sure what my answer is: I am definitely happy.

Happy holidays!
Greetings from my frustrated-yet-happy-student desk

Jakarta-Baltimore

Hi People!

I'm already at Baltimore right now. I'm only going to write about my journey to Baltimore on this post. My life in Baltimore itself will be in another separate post.

It was very hectic on my last day at Jakarta. I wasn't done with my packing, had to do some last minute responsibilities, while replying farewell messages on my phone.
My best friends also came to my house to take me to the airport. It was very nice of them, considering that they were supposed to work or be in class. Furthermore, my Abang None friends also came to my house to give me a very sweet farewell gift:

The gift was pictures of my Abang None friends where each of them held a paper with a word on it. Each of the picture was then compiled to become a complete sentence. It was very nice of my friends (especially Sutan Batara Putra Pane, who apparently had the idea and contacted all of them).

I then left to the airport with my best friends and my family. Other friends of mine gave me a surprise and went through all the hassle by taking the bus to see me, 15 minutes before I boarded the plane. When it was time for me to board, a typical airport scenario happened:

I knew something like this was going to happen. It was kind of embarassing, I'm not much of a weeper.
Since Baltimore is very far away, my flight had to stop at Abu Dhabi, Paris and New York. Afterwards, I had to take a domestic flight from New York and finally arrive at Baltimore. Fortunately, I only had to add a couple of dollars to my ticket if I want to stop at Paris. So there I stopped for 4 days, and met my dear sister.





















Despite the fact that I had to climb seven flight of stairs at least twice a day (that's how my sister live in Paris, her apartment has no elevator), Paris was great. The weather was nice, I ate the food I wanted to eat and get to see my sister and her apartment. I also got to see the annual man-made beach at the banks of Seine.




I then continued my flight to New York. There was no plan to stay there but my mother wanted to, so there we stayed for another 4 days. I was actually already exhausted and started to get anxious because school was going to start in less than a week. But I got over my anxiety and enjoyed New York.









































Finally, Baltimore.





























Baltimore is actually kind of scary, the pictures is the better part of the city. I've grown to like it, though.

One last thing, please check the link below. I promise it will be entertaining.

Me dancing.

Thanks to Ken Uyama for the link. :D

My Version of 10 Things I Hate About You

I hate how you beat me in Scrabble or the Sunday crossword puzzle
I hate how you sometimes forget to say thank you to the parking guy or cashier
I hate how you're easily sick
I hate how you play the piano better than I do
I hate how you sometimes test me on general knowledge or use medical terms to explain something
I hate how you can tell that I'm playing spider solitaire or browsing while speaking on the phone with you
I hate how you lie and say that you're staying up late to write your paper, though you're actually playing a computer game
I hate how you sometimes forget to hold the door for me
I hate how you sometimes stare at my blackheads on my forehead instead of my eyes when you talk to me
I hate how you complain annoyingly when the traffic gets bad

However

I adore how you let me change the rules of scrabble so I could win
I adore how you're willing to wait for me to finish work for an hour or more at the mall across my office
I adore how you don't mind going to the movies alone because I changed my mind and decided to attend a meeting
I adore how you never complain about my outfit, even if it makes my ass look huge
I adore how you listen to my rants and give comments without being judgmental
I adore how you apologize first because you don't want us to fight
I adore how you let me window shop at Forever 21 eventhough you have a test the day after
I adore how you let me eat anything I want eventhough I'm already gaining weight and have a double chin
I adore how you understand when I refuse to come to your family gatherings
I adore how you never raise your voice when I'm being such a bitch during my monthly bitchiness.

We both don't know for sure whether I will be by your side when your hair turns gray,
or whether you will be by my side when there are wrinkles on my eyes,
or I will one day delete this post because we have both gone our separate ways.
But one thing I do know for sure,
is that in the here and now,
you have a special place in my heart.

Farewell #2

Had a sleepover with my best friends, lunch with family and friends and dinner with more friends.Received presents from some of them, hugs from most of them and wishes from all of them.
Nearly cried when my friends sang Can't Smile Without You dedicated to me.
We also danced, sing, laughed and said until we meet again.
Such lovely people I have in my life.

Farewell Wishes from friends and family:

A present from my best friends:

Apparently pictures from my camera is in poor quality. I'll post the pictures once my friend has uploaded it on facebook.
: )

Farewell #1

My farewell email on June 30, 2010.

Dear All,

Today is my last day at the office. It’s been such a wonderful experience to be able to work at WBOJ, especially at this Unit with a remarkable team like all of you. Your teamwork and professionalism has taught me a lot on my early career.

I can never say enough thank yous for the opportunity, knowledge, experience and friendship all of you have shared. This past 8 months will surely be a joyful memory for me. I will one day look back and smile because I have got the chance to know all of you, personally and professionally. I wish you all success in life.

With best wishes, warm hug and thank yous,

Deasy Benita Priadi

PS: My personal email is deasy_748@yahoo.com and my phone number is +62-81*-*******, just in case you want to say hi or congratulate me on my birthday. :D

Farewell lunch and dinner with officemates,

Team Picture, a present from Mba Echie:

A present from Mba Nandya and Arief:

One of my boss:

Such remarkable people.

Thank you to Bebeng, Mba Reny, Mba Amel and those of you who took the pictures.

My Imperfect Parents

Growing up, I was under a lot of pressure. Let me give you a brief family background.

My mother's late father was in the army, so her late parents had to move a lot. My mother was taken care by her grandmother who had limited money. When my mother was old enough, as the oldest child she had to take care her 6 siblings. Long story short, it was difficult for my mother to do her hobbies and explore her creativity and potential when she grew up.

My father is one of the brightest guy in his extended family. He also happens to be one of the most successful one, career wise. I think this is one of the reason why he thinks education is more important than breathing. Seriously. There was a period where the only topic he's interested in discussing is how we're doing in school.

My older sister inherits most of my father's gene. She was only 4 years old when she entered elementary school. She was a bright student in her school years, there was even her picture in her junior high yearbook, in which the caption underneath it says "Big Five Highest Score".

Since as long as I can remember, my school days were busy with all kinds of lessons. I was learning from sunrise to sunset, Monday to Saturday, sometimes Sunday. I used to envy my classmates because they were able to sleep in the afternoon and watch cartoon in the evening.

Mojacko, the cartoon I can't watch.

I was sick and tired with all my lessons. I cried a lot to my parents, asking their permission to let me quit. I did quit some of the lessons, but they never let me quit my English and piano lessons. I enjoyed none of it, my lessons became a burden.

Moreover, I was doing bad in high school. I had to do remedials in every test I take. My parents compared my grades to my sister's. It was really depressing at that time. I was also told by my conservative father that I have to be accepted at a public university, which is highly competitive and seems to be impossible for me considering my grades was going down the drain. The ultimatum I got is public university or not going to college at all. I studied really hard not because I wanted to learn, but because I was terrified I won't go to college.

This or That. Other Public Universities are too far from Jakarta.

My mother once explained the reason why my sisters and I were given many lessons is because she wants her children to experience things she couldn't when she was young. Furthermore, my father just want his children to succeed. As simple as that.

My parents' reasons are classic, I guess every parents has a similar reason. Nothing special.
I only understood just recently, as I grow older. Right now, I have nothing to regret at the choices they made for me. I'm happy that I can play the piano, I'm happy with my almamater, I'm happy with what I am. I would never blame my parents for my pressured childhood nor change anything in my past.

It took me my whole life to really understand the way I was raised. However, I guess understanding my parents imperfection is a lifetime process. They're human afterall, they sure make mistakes every once in a while. There will always be a time where I question their decision and argue about it.
People who truly love you may depress you in some ways, but they just want what they think is best and never mean any harm. They just have strange ways to express their love.
This is one thing I learned from my imperfect parents.

My Dearly Beloved Imperfect Bunda